I will write you letters. And I won’t stop until I will have nothing more to say. But for now, this is what I do. I will write and leave my feelings on digital paper.
Today is Sunday.
Sundays are usually difficult for me. It’s the day where I’m cooped up in my little studio apartment to catch up with homework and stuff. It’s the day where I tell myself I will not go out and I will take time to relax and think. It’s the day where I feel alone the most. It’s also the day where I try to talk to my family on the other side of the world. It depends; if I’m lucky and they’re available, I get to talk to them and say hi. Sometimes, they are also busy with their own lives and I have to find someone else to talk to. I guess this is also why I chose to have Skype lessons on Sundays: to keep myself busy. At least, I’m sure to have people to talk to. And I get paid for it. Awesome, right?
But today is Sunday and even though I talked to my family and had my Skype lesson, I still wasn’t “okay”. I had to text you. Maybe just to see how you were doing. But also because I missed you. I didn’t want to tell you that I’m having a hard time because it would make things harder. I told you I was fine. I am, actually, for the most part.
I know that if I ask you to be with me again, nothing will change.
God knows how bad I want to see you. And hug you. And kiss you. I know it’s impossible. And maybe that’s why it’s better that we just break up.
My eyes are hurting. I’ve been crying so much and I haven’t been getting much sleep. God, I miss you. And it hurts me how we can’t be together.
You, yourself, confirmed that you can’t change. Not for me. Not for anyone else. So, I really REALLY have to let you go.
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