Some people would call me lucky to be abroad and not working. Some people may even envy me because I am practically not engaged in any commitment like a job or a relationship. But the pessimist in me hates that. You see, the thing about being human is that you always find something to complain about.
Just recently, I came across an opportunity of having one of my high school dreams come true. The way to get there may not be ideal and easy but is, by all means, legal. Safe? I'd like to think so. It is, really. You're not really as safe as you think you are even when you are at home. You can die in any way possible if it's really your time to go. Heck, you can even die in your sleep. Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. I just need a big financial boost from my mother and everything would have been set. But no, she says no. And I am here, crying my eyes out contemplating on when I will finally have a life of my own. Every time I think about the big "no", I can't help but cry in frustration...in grief of how a dream just died.
Up until now, I still seek the approval of the adults around me in making big life decisions. Which I can understand since I am unemployed without a penny to my name. And it sucks because the moment I tell them what I want to do with my life, they decline. And I am left clueless. Because I am the type who rarely knows what she wants. And frankly, I hate how their planning is turning out. In this case, it's turning out into nothing. You see, I did not come all the way here to laze around and gain more weight. Of course, I was here to seek for a job. As you can tell, I couldn't find any. And it sucks. It sucks so bad. The years and amount of money spent in the execution of this whole plan is going down the drain. Do I sound like I'm giving up? Because I am. And the sooner I move on to another plan, the better.
I'm turning 23 in a few weeks. I've never been this miserable. I am single, unemployed and unhappy. Bite me.
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