There's this tiny voice in my head telling me that the reason why I haven't had any relationship in the entire duration of my existence is because I seem to be asking too much from people and that I have made myself so unreachable that no one knows where my head (or heart?) is at. And at this point, I seem to agree with this stupid tiny voice because there can't be no other reason why, can there?
I don't know how I became this person but I seem to be looking for something (or someone?) who might not be there. In the course of talking to these idiots in a form of social media named Tinder, I have never met anyone that I genuinely want to have a relationship with. They are either rude, disrespectful, boring, or not smart enough for me. And I'm not really that smart to begin with. So, is it really so hard to ask for someone to have a decent, intelligent conversation with?
I know you can sense my frustration. But what can I do? I didn't expect the love game to be this complicated. I mean, they're supposedly just feelings. Wrong! Everybody seems to be playing it safe these days that it's even contagious. What is everybody so afraid of? Okay, they've been hurt before and they don't want to get hurt as bad as before. Or maybe it's just me and I come out too strong for them. Hmm. I don't really know. And no one is there to walk me through the ropes. Yes, I'm one clueless (but curious) monkey climbing the ladder. I don't even know why I'm comparing myself to a primate.
Back to my first point though. Am I so high and hard to reach? Do I need to tone down my personality (whatever the f that means)? Or am I just so full of myself thinking I deserve more than what I should? Is it so hard to want something nice? Hahaha. Silly questions. So, when is it gonna be my turn to be the grumpy, moody, hormonal, needy, but altogether sweet girlfriend? I'm waiting for my turn. And I do not like to be kept waiting.
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